Thought I’d have some green tea before posting this.
Many sent me mails discussing how frustrated they are with their life situations – how left out, being used, victims and how they can never forgive because of the pain inflicted upon them.
A very sensitive topic to touchdown on, wide and deep too.
Before I type anything that may offend anyone, please know that I am not belittleing your situations whatever they may be, I’m only trying to give a hand.
The line I get a lot from you guys is “funny how the ones we love most hurts us to the max” or something like that.
Allow me to shed some light here.
These episodes of hate – resentment – anger – jealousy and control “freak” phases are common.
Incase you didn’t know, every story has three sides to it. Your side, his side and then, the truth. You know what Im talking about.
Lets take you first:
Something happened to you, for some reason you are deeply hurt. Decide then to inflict pain – just like OR more than what happened to you TO the person who hurts you.
Thats a combination of anger + revenge = madness. Or in better words the state of the world now.
Lets take him now:
You decided to show your attention else where, decided to just scream’N'shout and have a ball. He gets upset, feels neglected, does the same and some more, then shows it off with an in-your-face attitude.
Thats a combination of jealousy + self pity + “I must control her” tantrum = Hallucination. or in better words, the state of the world today.
Is there something we are missing here ? something we don’t see ? – You bet.
If you like an instant upgrade to your thought process, i’ll be more than happy to help, but you have to be OPEN and WILLING to accept what I have to say.
Here it is: Most people react to what they see because they do not know any better way to solve their issues. If they do find solutions and decid not to take risks, thats simply because their EGOS are too big to bow down to pick up a solution and stand right back up again and say ok, lets work it out.
Try to understand that what people do does not revolve around you, even if you are in an intimate relationship. People React because they are identified with that anger and need for attention through the voice in their heads that says “look at me – give me – love me – leave them all and be with me – me me me – my my my – i i i i”
The more people are identified with that kind of thought process, the more harder it gets for them to have a relationship – stay in one or feel the bliss of intimacy.
Why do you think we have parents today feeling awful about how they raised their kids ? they feel guilty most of the time because they keep thinking ” I should have treated them better – been there for them – Shouldn’t have hit them like that … ” because after years later they learned that there were better solutions to how things are supposed to be done.
I think they should not feel bad at all. Simply because they genuinely didn’t mean any of it to happen, they never knew better, thats what they know, thats the data base they had in mind, thats what they were taught and passed on to their kids.
If they had the luxury to sit back and have options displayed on treys, they would have chosen the best solutions. But they didn’t.
They were making unconscious decisions. They were not aware, otherwise they wouldn’t feel guilty now. (And I repeat, they shouldn’t)
What would happen if they went with conscious decisions ? What would happen if you all of a sudden decided not to have this meaningless repeated discussion which will only lead to you hanging up the phone on each other ? What would happen if you say “Hey, its ok, maybe we could try to … ” with a suggestive tone, instead of whatever mess you are using now. Bet your eyebrows are similar to the unidentified nationalities we see on Kuwaiti TV shows and the tone is probably a bit like Taif’s ? You know what I mean, that tone and energy that makes you want to do the UN-Type-Able, hmm ?
If you open up to believe that people behave in certain ways because they don’t know any better, you’ll be able to love them, inspire them and maybe guide them to a higher, smarter flavor thats 10x more sophisticated than the average person you think you knew back then.
Apply the same mentality to your life situation, apply this to your relationships with your loves ones, friends, bosses, colleagues and strangers. You won’t believe it until you try it.
SOME OF YOU WILL RUSH IN and say “OHH but how come ? I’v had this pain for years now, I can’t just let it go, l can’t just forgive, you don’t know what I’v been through ….” on and on and on the beat goes.
Answering you could not be any more simple. You are hurting no one but yourself. Do you think anyone cares what happened to you ? Do you think people have time to hear you every time ? Do you understand why people run away from you and your “on repeat” stories? Look around, honestly, those who like your stories, aren’t they miserable just like you ? Im not judging you, just stating the obvious. If these lines hurt you, then you identified with them, which means they reflect your reality, your anger is understood.
Don’t let them fool you. Those “listen to me and my sad old story”. Some people hold on to these kinds of thoughts because it shaped their identity. Don’t believe me ? check their musical selections, their friends, tweets, their interest and in some cases profile pictures and captions used – beyond mexican dramas, episode 1981021.
Honestly, haven’t you had enough of being down there? Its not cute and for what I care, its never productive, its very 1762.
I believe that giving space to any situation means enhancing your ability to forgive. Forgiveness heals all. It allows a new level of consciousness to shine upon you, known as compassion.
The source of all energy – The source of all greatness – The source of light sent many messengers here on earth, one of them is the son of the virgin mary, jesus who said “Forgive them, for they know not what they do”.
Its a very clear message that asks us to forgive, not only that but he is also highlighting why we should “for they know not what they do” because they do not know what they have done/are doing.
Isn’t it beautiful ? isn’t it enlightening ? I felt it.
You have to realize that we have evolved by now. We gained leaps, kilos, miles and skies of knowledge that separates us from our former cave man attitude.
Be appreciative of what you have now. You’ll never need anything more. All you have now is enough.
Try forgiveness, true forgiveness. If you did, it’ll show on your face, don’t believe me, listen to what people will start telling you.