Phenomenon: Relationships Overdose pt.1
Everybody loves Meat Machboos*. Having it everyday is something we wont sign up for, nore is it healthy.
Many various incidents have been on repeat with blind attention to consequences. See, I mingle with lots of folks from different age groups, orientations and backgrounds.
All are beautiful – All are different. All have issues.
Lets start with the regular ones.
Single folks are lucky to have a 360 look at whats out there. Fall, get back up, fall, get back up – sometime faint – most cross “the wire” safely.
Concern goes to married couples.
As a guy who has a little bit of knowledge on how things are running here, the following couples to me (Education – Finance – Physical) are perfect. They think not.
Married for 12 years – roughly – have 2 kids and both are the IT items of society.
Problem: Wife is an attention seeker. Husband has groupies.
Issue: He knows it, she knows it – both are fine with it.
Reason: They like eachother’s company – dislike loosing the attention. Claiming – and I quote “its an added value – its healthy to have a wandering eye”
Recently married – No kids and -according to me- the wife, everything about her – sparkles like a cartier diamond ring – husband seems nice on so many levels but mental demons took a piece of his functioning brain.
Problem: Both seek attention differently. Wife seeks husband attention. Husband seeks her attention too by ancient old mind games that suggest “watch me make them come for me while you slowly melt down” does it because he wants her for him 24/7 non stop with no attachment to anyone – anything.
Issue: He knows how overwhelmingly beautiful his wife is, knows she loves him like no other, but cant help his jealousy due to the amount of attention she gets.
Resolved? Not yet.
Reason: He does not know a way out of his misery – thinks that backing down means loosing his manlyhood/upper hand/power/control over the relationship.
What brings these two exhibits together ?
A need for a special kind of attention. Constant attention. “watch me im here – do you hear me – do you see me – dont I matter ?” kind of attention.
Honestly, its not easy problem to solve. It needs a unique approach.
The person has to realize and listen to the voices in his head that suggest this urge. This urge to all of a sudden feel special NOW or i’ll blow up.
Funny, thats the state of many.
There are no good or bad people in the world. Lets keep that clean and clear.
Concious and uncouncious beings is the case.
Throwing your 2-cent judgement at people is the last thing you need to do.
If you approach people like ones above, feel like advising – try to be a listener, try to be fair and honest. Its easy to take sides and say things that makes them feel happy and comfortable for a couple of minutes while they secretly suffer for days – weeks or a lifetime.
Not suggesting to listen to anyone with anything to say – most of what people say is toxic – they dont mean it – but thats all they know so far – they think this is how they should socialize.
I have issues. You have issues. We all have issues. No one is sent from up above, not at this day and age at least.
Then again, its a blessing – a challenge and a way to find inner strength and peace.
Nothing is a coincedence. Everything happens for a reason.
*Sbaar, Daqous or with Marag Bamya.